Ever have a love/hate relationship with a place that you enjoy so much, yet it causes you great anxiety when you are there?

In my experience, this place has been the water’s edge (i.e., the beach).

I read this quote recently and realized it is true.  However, I believe in this battle against yourself we have two opponents: the outside world and ourselves.  I personally believe the latter is the harder fight.

For example, I was at the beach this past weekend with two good girl friends. We have different body shapes and sizes, yet we are fighting the same battles.

The first is our struggle with a society that constantly has images of how individuals should ideally look. The media puts out the message that we should change ourselves and our imperfections to a standardized “ideal” image in order to be happy and accepted.

I was watching a reality show this week, and a guy made a comment about a woman he was dating.  He said that he had a great connection with the woman, and he could totally see himself building a life with her; but, he had to break up with her due to a lack of physical attraction because he thought she needed to lose at least fifteen pounds.   I know I should consider the source because it is a reality show, but I have heard people dismiss potential partners for a variety of physical reasons.

Therefore, my question of the the day is: what are the deal-breakers in a long-term relationship?  Human bodies change for a variety of reasons. There is more to a person than physical appearance.

I heard Natasha Bedingfield's  song "Strip Me" on the radio the other day and had to share.  Such an important message:

"I'M ONLY ONE VOICE IN A MILLION BUT YOU AIN'T TAKING THAT FROM ME!"

I went shopping the other day for a new bathing suit that I can use to go swimming in every morning.  I'm a fish; I am truly happy when I am in or on the water.  That is why two of my favourite activities are: rowing and swimming.  I am getting back into my routine of going to the pool early in the morning and swimming laps.

As I was shopping the other day, I realized how much putting on a swimsuit instills insecurity and fear in many people.  You want a suit that shapes your body and makes you look your best.  We are all raised with media telling us how we should look.  In a sense, wearing a swimsuit out in public makes you extremely vulnerable as many people see the shape of your body.   We get self-conscious as sometimes the shape of our body may not fit the "ideal stereotype".  For some this can be terrifying. I remember when I was in my early teens and self-conscious of my new curves; I would wear a t-shirt over my suit when I was at the cottage as I didn't want anyone to look at my body and possibly judge me.  I grew out of that phase and am just wear bathing suits into the pool now.  I realized that people will judge you regardless but you cannot let that control/prevent you from having fun and pursuing the activities you enjoy.

I happened to see Pink's new music video for her song "Perfect". Since I was posted yesterday (The Power of Words) about body image, self-esteem, and eating disorder, I thought the message of the video is a great one to share.

** Caution though the girl does engage in self-mutilating behaviour and its not appropriate for everyone.

Have you ever been told by people that you are too nice? Or why do you put up with this behaviour? I have seen it happen on way too manyoccasions. In a relationship (either romantic or platonic) you don’t want to offend the other person so you give in to what they want. Then at some point you wake up and realize “hey what I need matters just as much” and that you are worth standing up for.