In past years, I have been silent about important issues because I lacked the belief that my point of view mattered or was valid. Even though I knew deep down that I was of value, I was too insecure around others to tell them my honest thoughts and opinions.

What helped me speak was the presence of a supportive community who lifted me up. I truly encourage you to find positive role models in your life as social learning is such a valuable tool for your personal growth. When you surround yourself with individuals who model healthy behaviours, you observe them and want to apply their behaviours yourself.

Many of you have asked me recently how The Self-Discovery Retreat was created. Let me share with you how opening up, standing tall, and speaking from the heart led me to where I am today.

The holiday season brings congestion everywhere - at shopping malls, on the roads, even at the grocery stores.  People are out trying to find the perfect present for their loved ones.  This means, though, that the parking lots and routes to these major centres are packed with holiday season traffic. It may seem like the whole city is out shopping!

During this festive season, I usually try to plan to go shopping for my gifts at off hours or to order things online to avoid the crowds and congestion.  However, this past weekend I found myself in a jammed traffic lineup while merging onto the highway.

When talking to people over the past few months, many have independently mentioned how years ago I was “floundering” in terms of transitioning from recent graduate to established professional; now, they love how I have found my balance.  Each has used that exact word, floundering, which means: “to make clumsy attempts to move or regain one's balance” (thefreedictionary.com). The reason the word was used was because I took a different route than what they were used to so they thought I was off course. However, I never thought I was "floundering," I used the term exploring instead. I knew exactly where I was going and working hard to get there.

Other than talking them out, writing has been the way I release my thoughts. I love keeping journals; this has been a habit since I was a young girl.  Perhaps it is why I love blogging so much, as I love sharing the lessons I have learned through keeping a journal.

Last weekend, I found old journals from my youth. Reading them made me remember earlier times which had faded from memory.  The pages of the old journals were filled with my thoughts and emotions about daily life.  Writing the words on the page is like expressing your innermost thoughts with a trusted friend.

I'm excited to start the series by featuring the amazing Vanessa Grillone. I discovered Vanessa's blog, My Pen, My Voice, this past January on the Canadian Weblog Awards  site where both our blogs were nominated. I had to connect with her as we share similar interests, live/lived in Toronto, and both have self-published books. Vanessa is a writer, blogger, and book-lover looking to find her place in the publishing world. She contributes to ChicDarling.com  and Workstory.net; she also writes for her own lifestyle blog on VanessaGrillone.com . Vanessa can’t stop writing and can be annoyingly optimistic, but she doesn’t care—she loves life.

From my personal journey over the past few weeks, I discovered a common thread: I need the courage to stop feeling intimidated by others.  I must develop the courage to speak my truth to everyone – no holds barred. With most people I can freely communicate what’s on my heart; but with a select few, I lack the courage to express how I feel.  

With these people, I keep my thoughts and frustrations locked inside. I get worried that if I share how I feel or think, they will not like what I have to say. Sometimes I have been excluded for my views, even though I spoke politely.  I have also had others get upset, or change the topic when I speak. Most often, I would respond by keeping quiet, playing down my views, or agreeing with them. Whichever way you look at it, I lacked courage to stand up for what I believed with these people. I have come to realize that I ‘gave up’ on my views because I like to make others happy – more so than myself. I guess I’m a ‘people pleaser.’

We all grieve in different ways.  I'm turning to writing to express the thoughts that are in my head right now.

I just came home from taking our family cat, Comet to the vet.  She usually loves to eat and will come running whenever you put kibble in her bowl.  Also, she constantly would wake us up by either bunting our face or slightly nibbling our hair when she wanted to wake us up at night to give her a midnight/early morning snack.  Well, when she wouldn't eat and would sniff her favourite foods and walk away; we knew something was up.