Money. This is a word that keeps coming up as a source of stress in many of the conversations I have been having so I thought we should talk about it. How does this word "money" make you feel?

To join the dialogue, I invited Amanda Abella, an expert on this topic, to speak to us all about helping us all become our best selves by improving our relationships with money.

Amanda Abella is an online business coach, speaker, and author of the Amazon bestselling book, Make Money Your Honey: A Spirited Entrepreneur’s Guide to Having a Love Affair with Work and Money. She is committed to helping millennials (and anyone who wants to join us) have a better relationship with work and money by means of entrepreneurship, online marketing, and an abundance mindset. Thanks, Amanda, for joining us today at The Self-Discovery Retreat.

Let’s talk money. You and I have talked about this before, but why is it so hard for people to talk about money?

It used to be that you could never talk about money at all - it was taboo, like “sex or religion or politics.” Things have changed a little since then, but it’s still pretty difficult for people to talk about finances. Through my work I have found that people find it hard to talk about this topic because of the pressure we put on ourselves when it comes to money. Because there is so much pressure, there is also a lot of guilt and shame.

The pressure comes from everywhere. Society tells us that wealth looks a certain way, marketing tells us we need to spend money as a status symbol, the news is always talking about financial doom, and everyone around us has an opinion about money.

What is the number one concern you hear from millennials around money? What advice do you have for them?

Truthfully, the number one thing that I hear is them being sick and tired of unsatisfying jobs where they are underpaid and their skills are undervalued. They really crave flexibility, independence, and creativity, and they truly want to make the world a better place. They feel like the traditional constructs and systems of the corporate world don't allow them to do this so it causes a major internal conflict.  As such, I have a lot of people coming to me asking, “How can I quit my job and make money working for myself?”

I agree money can have a negative connotation around it. So let’s reframe; why don’t you tell us about your phrase, “Make Money Your Honey?” What does it mean and how can we do this in our lives?

“Make Money Your Honey” refers to the need to become conscious of our relationship with our finances, our work, and ultimately ourselves. Abundance, and what that looks like for each person, is an inside job. It’s from an internal sense of abundance and self-worth that we can positively change our behaviors when it comes to our finances and our work.

People get turned off by the term “budget” as they think of limits and being held back from having amazing experiences – how can this be looked at in a positive light?

I recently came across a few studies that compared the habits of people with average net worth to those who had above-average net worth. Those who had an above-average net worth save more, invest more, and have multiple streams of income. The really interesting part about this study was that individuals with higher net worth also had a very deep sense of self, had confidence, and saw themselves as worthy of taking care of themselves financially. That’s a very different way of looking at a budget - it’s not deprivation; it’s actually self-care.

On the topic of self-care, you and I have talked about this but let’s talk about charging what you are worth as a business owner and entrepreneur. What advice would you have for someone who is struggling with that?

The reason this topic is near and dear to my heart is because I am a recovering under-earner. It took me years to feel confident in asserting my value as a business owner, and it’s still something I work on daily.

It ultimately comes down to seeing it as a form of self-care. If I don’t charge enough, then I cannot take care of myself;  and if I cannot take care of myself, then I cannot serve people through my business.

If you are just starting out in your business, how do you prevent comparison of earnings between you and another?

This is a good question. The best advice I have is to become very clear on what you value and why you want money. No one wants money for the sake of wanting money; they want money because of how it makes them feel and what it allows them to do.  As a result, everyone wants money for different things and not everyone needs the same amount of money to accomplish what they want.

How has a positive relationship with yourself influenced your money mindset?

It all comes down to a better relationship with myself. The more I see finances as a form of self-care, the better I am at making and managing my money.

How can friends’ and family’s unhealthy spending habits influence you? Are boundaries important? If so, how do you create them?

Ah yes, everyone has an opinion on money and rarely is it ever a good one. It’s our MO (modus operandi ) to say things like “I can’t afford it,” “there isn’t enough,” or “money doesn’t grow on trees.”  I think the best you can do is to become conscious of the stories and actively choose not to buy into them.  At the end of the day, it all comes down to a choice that you have the power to make regardless of what’s going on around you.

I love that your perspective is all about changing your money mindset and looking at money in a positive light. Lastly, how do you practice cultivating a money mindset on a daily basis?

Gratitude. I am grateful for every cent that comes in, I acknowledge what I have in the bank, I am grateful for opportunity, and I consciously reinforce the belief that I can attract and make money.

Thanks, Amanda, for your speaking to us all about cultivating a healthy money mindset and helping us all to have a better relationship with money! Your advice is so practical. I love how in this whole conversation – there was no mention of a dollar sign. See, talking about money isn’t scary or serious, it can actually empower you to become the best version of yourself!

Thank you all for reading and for your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! Did you learn some special from reading this article? Feel free to share in the Comments section below.  We can all learn from hearing your stories and advice.

See you at the beach!