Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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How to Cope with Unrequited Love?

A loyal reader of mine asked if I could share on the topic of unrequited love; they are coping with this situation presently, and would like some support.

Unrequited love is love that is not reciprocated or returned by the other person.  Basically, you fall in love with someone whom you can never be with for a variety of reasons.  It is really hard on the person who has these feelings for the other, especially when they think that the other person is the man/woman of their dreams.

For the person of unrequited affections, many of their friends or family may not understand what it feels like in their situation if they have never been in that situation before.  Therefore, these people in love end up feeling even more lonely because their friends/family aren't offering them the support they need.  Their family and friends are quick to tell them to get over the person and to find someone new.  However, it is hard to find someone new when this person has so many desired characteristics that you look for in a spouse.

It is a hard situation to be in.  As James Patterson quotes, “Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?”   Have you ever been in the situation? What's your advice that you can share with this reader?

I experienced unrequited "puppy" love when I was in middle school. I fell for a good friend of mine who was a few years older than me. When I realized that I liked him, our friendship changed, as I became super-shy around him.  I never told him how I felt for a variety of reasons, but mainly because I was in middle school and he was a popular high school guy.  I figured he only saw me as his younger sister and so I kept quiet.  It really hurt to see someone I cared about so much to be around other girls.  Eventually, we drifted apart and moved on with our lives, as he graduated and we lost touch.  However, when I was thinking of this topic today, his name came to mind.

From my experience, it will get better and you will find that special person. My experience taught me a lot about myself and what I value in a relationship.  I realized that I needed to figure out who I was and love myself first before I could truly love another.  This is an important lesson.

How can we encourage this reader to persevere in finding true love? Do you have any suggestions or stories you would like to share? I know they are going to read this :) so let's encourage them to persist in finding love as it's so worth it !!!

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!

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