Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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Why Are People So Afraid of Being ALONE?

Have you ever done any of the following things by yourself?

  •  Gone to a Movie.
  •  Exercise.
  •  Gone on a Trip.
  •  Gone to a Concert.
  •  Gone for Dinner.

Why do people have a fear of doing these events alone? If you really wanted to do something (i.e., go to a concert), would you not go simply because you had no one to go with? I have a friend who went to this huge sport event by himself; he had an amazing time! Should he not have gone because he couldn’t find someone to go with? This sounds kind of silly; but in reality, it is a pretty common choice. I am partially guilty of this as well. Most people have to go to events with others.  These individuals wouldn’t even consider the possibility of going alone; they worry about being insulted, or having nothing to say, etc.  Individuals then think that the notion of being alone is a bad thing.

People need community and connectedness. I have mentioned this in previous blog posts. However, they also need connectedness to themselves. Many individuals spend so much time trying to impress others that they forget their true selves. Your relationships with others are important, but you should also try to get to know yourself better. You need both to have a fulfilling life.

My cousin sent me the following video last night, which made me think about this issue. Please have a look at it below.

If you only do the activities that others will do with you, you are limiting yourself from numerous opportunities where you could learn about yourself and perhaps meet new people.

You reading this are an amazing person!  You should not base your self-worth on what others think of you. It should come from within.

So this new year, I challenge you to not use this fear of being alone (monophobia) as a barrier from preventing you from going out there and becoming your best. It’s hard, but it so worth it! A couple of years ago, I wanted to try rowing, so I went out to a Learn to Row Course all by myself without knowing anyone. Look at how well that turned out!  Going out there on your own can work for you too!

Thoughts??

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!