Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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When it comes to LOVE, how do you choose?

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When it comes to love, do you follow your heart or your mind?

Picture you are the "Bachelor" or "Bachelorette" and you have a BIG decision to make.

**For those of you who don't watch reality television, the Bachelor/Bachelorette are reality shows where a person has to select their future wife/husband out of group of twenty five people.

Let's say the Bachelorette has narrowed down her choice of guy to pursue a relationship with to two very different people.

The first is someone who she has a spark with and can talk for hours with.  They have an instant connection.  Some women would refer to this one as the "bad guy" as he knows his way with women.  You can tell he has a lot of dating experience.  He is a fun, outgoing guy.  This is the one that your heart is telling you to go after as you guys have instant chemistry.  However, you never have deep talks with him and not sure how great of boyfriend he would be.  You just think he would be fun.  However, you have a huge crush on him.

The second is a guy that matches all the characteristics that she is looking for in a man.  He is attractive but safe.  However, the chemistry and spark are not there with this guy.  You think that if you spend enough time with him the spark will appear.  He is shy and hasn't dated much.  He could be a good match for you in the long run and is the opposite of the first guy.  This is the guy that your mind is telling you to go after.

So which one do you casually date?  You want to pick one early as to not hurt the other guy.

Any insight as to how you pick would be great.  I have been presented with this situation by friends asking for advice numerous times over the last couple months.  With the rise of online dating, it seems that people need to pick their mate immediately.    Therefore, I am curious as to what your insight is.

Do you go for the one with the instant connection? Will it last? Or do you tread through the forest (i.e., developing the relationship) and hope the connection will become clear?

I have my own views on the topic and have already given my advice to my friends but curious to hear other peoples views on the topic.   These indecisive people would also really appreciate your help :)

Which one will ultimately lead to true love?

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!