Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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My "Aha!" Moment: Realizing "I AM ENOUGH"

Arianna Merritt

I saw the "I am not afraid ... I was born to do this" necklace that Tina Steinberg designed, and it made me think of a message that has been on my heart and mind for quite a while. I started thinking about this topic when I first wrote about it in one of my earliest posts, "Am I Really Free to Be Me? " For me, when I see this necklace, I think: " I am not afraid ... I was born to be me."

"I am not afraid....I was born to do this" necklace

However, I have been struggling with the definition of  "me."  I feel that there are two versions of me: the ideal "perfect" me and the real "imperfect" me.  I know that no one is perfect, but it is hard to go against the grain and be okay with who you are in a society where there is a pressure to strive for perfection.  Everyone wants to fit in, which involves "assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted" (Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection, p. 25).    This got me thinking: I do not want to be accepted for this alternate version of me, I want to be accepted and loved for who I really am, goofiness, imperfections, and all.  I AM ENOUGH.

I had my "AHA" moment when I was reading Brene Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection" last night.   I stopped when I got to the part about Shame, which she defines as:

" the intensly painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging" (p.39).  

This struck a chord with me, as with some people I feel I cannot share facts about my accomplishments, lifestyle, family, upbringing, or other personal details. I subconsciously fear that if they find these things out about me, they will make judgments and not love me.

"Shame loses its power when it is spoken" (p. 40). Therefore,  I am speaking about my personal battle, which many others also experience. I am not going to stop being me,"imperfections" and all.  There are going to be times when I will be criticized or not accepted for who I am. But, I have amazing close friends and family, and a strong sense of self that will be there to help pick me up when others attempt to pull me down. I hope you have such a support network as well.

Thank you, Brene for reminding me of this message.  Also, thanks Tina Steinberg  for designing that necklace. I love it and wear it proudly wherever I go in the world.

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!

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