Arianna Merritt, M.Ed.

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Focus on the Things That Matter

Over my lifetime, I have experienced great loss.  Death and goodbye are parts of life.  Hard aspects but are parts none the less.  When it happens to others around you, it makes you reevalaute how you are living and shows you that life goes by rather quickly.  Losing friends and family has made me realize what matters in life and what does not.  Since I love music, here is the song "Things that matter" by Rascal Flatts which reinforces what has been on my mind lately.

Things that matter to me/Things that do not:

1) Relationships: My relationships with my family and friends mean the world to me. I love being around them.  I also really enjoy meeting new people and expanding my group.  People who know me well know that my love language is quality time.  I think I am the most happiest when I am spending time and getting to know my family and friends better.  It does not matter what we are doing as long as we are together.  I can talk with my closest friends for hours.  Their presence in my life is the best present a friend could ask for. It is kind of funny as one of my friends asked me earlier this week if I think that long-distance friendships are worth it?  I responded they are hard but worth the effort.  Why would you want to lose those relationships out of your life?  However, the things that do not matter are the bad and harmful relationships in your life.  Why should you keep people around all the time if they always make you feel bad about yourself?

2) Communication:  There is the common saying, "Remember the compliments you receive and forget the insults."  I sometimes tend to do the opposite, I will remember the insult and overlook all the nice thing.  I find that life is so short and there will always be people in your life, unfortunately, who will insult you.  Don't dwell on them as in the end the insults do not matter.  They make you feel bad about yourself and why waste time on that?

3) Things/Possessions/Souvenirs:  I had this conversation with a friend of mine the other day about how our society is heavily based on consumerism.  I have moved several times in the last several years and I always think to myself " How did I collect SO MUCH stuff?"  I know certain things make life enjoyable and there is not way I am saying that you should live without things.  I just think that we should try to consume less.   However, things  should not be placed of more importance over people and living beings.  When we pass away,  our things will still be there. That being said I am planning on going through my house this weekend and getting rid of things to the Salvation Army that I no longer use.

4) The Journey of Life :  In life, my motto is focus on process and not the destination.  For example, while I was working on my Master's degree, I put a lot of emphasis on enjoying the whole grad school process rather than just obtaining the degree.  The grad school process involved meeting and building relationships with incredible people, trying new experiences, participating in sport, and learning more about myself.  In the end, I was happy to reach my destination (i.e., obtain my degree) but enjoying the process made the whole experience memorable.

5) Reality versus Media/Make-believe: In our culture, there is an emphasis on the importance of media in our lives.  We should not let the "Reality Television", gossip, and media be more important than our reality.  I have a hard time when people want to be like a famous person, as it seems that the lives of the celebrities are more important than their own lives.  Therefore, YOU MATTER and while the lives are equally important they should not devalue your existence.

6) Your body: It may be funny to even mention this one but your body matters a lot in your life as you only have one.   The body and proper nutrition and care should matter in your life.  Exercise, healthy eating, lots of sleep, and eliminating unhealthy habits out of your life should be important components in life.  Things that do not matter in this case are concepts like overeating, eating unhealthy foods all the time, smoking, etc.

There are my "Random" Thoughts of the day!  I felt inspired to share :) I know there are a lot of thoughts tonight.

Thoughts? Comments?

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!