*** Before I begin - my topic today is on Christianity and I know that some of you reading it are studying to become Ministers. I'm being honest with how I feel about church.

So the question on my mind today is: What am I looking for in a church?? Before you jump to conclusions I havent changed my belief in God. I still do believe. I guess I'm just questioning how I show that. What is it about church that is so important??

Is it the building??? Is it the service or sometimes performance?? Is it the message?? Sometimes I've heard discussions that are so philosophical and that's not what I'm looking for.

All these questions were coming into my head today as I drove to work. Personally, I believe in God but am having a hard time with the institution of church. Sometimes I feel like Im watching a performance and I dont feel connected to it.

I guess I have been having a hard time with some churches and trying to figure out whats best for me. I mean so you get up early on Sunday go to church. Although if you work and cannot go, people are like why dont go to church every Sunday. Then you sit there sing some songs - which people have selected. Although sometimes Im not in the mood to sing them and so I feel fake singing these songs just because everyone else is. You pray - which is authentic and I love . Then I sit there and listen to sermons (some amazing, some put me to sleep) about stories from the Bible. Some preachers talk so theoretically that I have a hard time capturing the message and how its applicable to real life. Then you sing more songs and its done.

For some people that's wonderful and they feel connected. For me, the last little while I come out and was like what did I get from that.

I don't know maybe I need to find a church that's more "real" and down to earth. One that focuses on relationships and strengthening my walk.

I mean honestly where I feel strong in my faith is when I'm sitting in a car with music on or where with friends (some one is playing the guitar) and we just jam. I also love when you gather together in a bible study or with friends and just talk about your life, and be real. Sometimes I feel when I go to church, it I feel like its a production and I miss the human factor.

So I guess that's what I'm on a search for?? Finding a "church" where they take important messages and applying them to today's society. Maybe its not even a church, maybe its just a community of people. One where people are accepted, and differences are valued. Where the focus is less on the tradition and more on love of others.

That's my random thought of the day!

Thank you for reading and your presence at this beach retreat. You Rock! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.

See you at the beach!